When the hell is payday?????

I'm going to have a moan...I feel low. I think mainly because I have NO MONEY, I have done what feels like loads of work and because I started right at the end of August I of course don't get paid till the end of sept. That's five weeks on top of all of last year, which literally bled me dry. On top of this my loan repayments for my PCDL began today, which will run for the next FIVE YEARS, plus my CCP membership has run out so I can't apply for any paid work now till the end of September. Also I got my credit card bill which of course I can't pay till I get paid, I owe my family and friends loads of money. It's so fucking annoying I’m doing everything I can to make money. I have got essentially four jobs and still no f***ing money. Apart from tips, which doesn't amount to that much anyway, plus I’m not putting those in the bank account, because I have run out of nearly all my cosmetics and I’m going with my Mum to York on Wednesday and plan to go and buy myself some new mascara. It sounds pathetic I know, but it's all I have to look forward to these days. I made a promise to myself that I would not do anything this month that doesn't surround making money, but the whole thing makes me feel like shit. Anyway, whatever...

My friend is pissing me off as well; she manages to word things in such an argumentative tone. She's one of those people who doesn't mean to cause offense but she really does. Stupid... and what's most annoying is that ordinarily I wouldn't let small things like these upset me. But because I am at home all the time, working in a job that I couldn't give a shit about. I feel like I’m missing out. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN LONDON, I feel like I’m missing out on one long party, everyone else is independent, has their own money and their own life. And I’m back living with my parents in the back of beyond with no one to talk to other than a rather hyperactive Yorkshire Terrier. Who right now I should be out on a walk with and not ranting on this but hey ho.

And I think I’m fat, I’m not fat, but I feel fat. I'm definitely not the 8st 4oz that I claim to be on spotlight. I tried to do some Yoga yesterday and only really succeeded in pulling a muscle in my spine, doing the snail pose...Jesus I can't even get that right.

Sorry about this post, I’m sure in a few days time when I’m feeling better, or when I have been paid, I will read this back and feel massively embarrassed...but anyway for now this is my declaration to the internet about how crap I’m feeling...

Toodles