A New Home

(This is a back dated post, as I didn't have internet last week)

Well I am here I moved in last Sunday, and in the space of one week I have had two interviews, got a job and have done two days training. I am very content at the moment; the flat is lovely we've only had a few hiccups such as the washing machine started leaking today but besides those annoying things it's all been going remarkably well. I have an interview set up for next week for a new Zizzi's opening within spitting distance of where I live. And full time hours working at my other job. Also the office that I work in, in canary wharf which is sooo cool and my job is really actor friendly. I feel like I have hit the jackpot. I also get to pass the Olympic village every time I go to work. It's amazing I feel really in the heart of everything.

All of this has reminded me how easy it is to fall in to the trap of feeling safe. Pateley was great and felt very comfortable. But being here I realise that there are so many more opportunities that I hadn't quite grasped before. I'm so looking forward to what may come my way. Ooo I've also got an audition lined up for next month…brilliant.

Life is very nice and alive at the moment.

Lemonade.

Moving out

So tomorrow is the day that I move. I am exhausted from packing, and still have a little left to do tomorrow, but  hopefully I won't have to do it again for a while. I feel like I have come to the end of a little windy road, not quite knowing when or where it would end/come out. It's strange I did my last shift at the pub this lunch time and I was elated but at the same time I got into my car and without out any warning felt like bursting into tears. I don't like goodbyes, even if I haven't particularly enjoyed what I am saying goodbye too. I don't like accepting that things do come to an end. I love change and looking forward, but with that comes dealing with endings and that I don't like, because life is never quite the same once something has ended. You can never go back, you can try but it's not really the same, because life and experience changes you. Who knows what the future will bring, I hope it will be happy and fulfilling, but for the moment I will treasure the present and all that it has to offer.

xxx

Brighter days

I feel like I haven't blogged properly for a while. I'm not really sure what I mean by 'blogging properly' maybe because I have been ill and therefore I haven't really felt myself i have felt a bit disinterested. Anywho, I have much more energy now. I wouldn't necessarily say I was feeling better, because I still have a really annoying cough, but my rash has gone and my headache has pretty much gone too. Meh, just have to hope my cough goes soon as well.

I went to work today at the Wellington; it was my last Sunday working there. I did a blog about waitressing not too long ago, I'm not sure if I can do it again really. As temporary jobs go, it's a pretty easy one to get, but I don't know, it's a younger person’s game. I think I'm on the cusp now of looking a bit sad, as a waitress....I mean I have a degree for God's sake. If I really wanted to, I could pack it all in and get a proper job. I love Acting but life as an actor is really hard. Most of the time I'm doing things I don't want to do, in order to supposedly be able to do what I do...I think it's time to take more control of my career. Set up my own theatre company...and as for temporary jobs go, I might try something else for a while.

So, this time next week, I will be moving to London. How strange that seems to type...after all this time, it is finally happening. And actually I feel ready, there's very little to get stressed about any more. All the paperwork has gone through, Internet is all ordered...just have to move in now. Oo and get a job, although I have a couple of things lined up interview wise, so I might be alright, anyway. And when I move to London, I can start what I like to think of as my cool twenties, I've been on standby a bit for the last few months; it'll be nice to get out a bit more.

Happy Easter!

I'm allergic to Penicillin

I'm allergic to penicillin. I have to tell everyone I know, and even don't know. In case anyone tries to give me penicillin, thinking it will make me better, when it won't. It’ll just make me spotty and itchy, like I am now. It would be hard to feel any less attractive than I do right now. Meh. The biggest shame about being allergic to Penicillin is that, how penicillin works and how it was discovered Is pretty much the only thing I remember from science and history at school? I thought it was fascinating how by just leaving a bit of mould out on the side, could end up saving so many people's lives...well not mine apparently. That’s yet another childhood dream that has been dashed. I watched a programme last week, where someone brought up the idea of letting go of childhood dreams of what your life would become and dealing with the reality of it. This was somewhat poignant for me. Maybe because my career is so silly, or that I thought I would have met someone by now, that I could at least imagine spending my life with. I don't know, the reality of growing up is starting to hit. Really I just need money, but to get money I need a job, and to get a job I need to be committed, and to be committed I can't be pootling off to every audition that comes my way....and the list continues. I've just had to have a rather frank chat with the future flat mates about room situations. The same old who’s going to get the small room debate. I tried to deal with it in adult way, but it just feels like being back at school. I don't like petty behaviour or people pretending that they're fine with something when they're not. Probably because I am not one of those people. One of my saving graces/slightly bad things about my personality is not being able to do or even say something that I don't either believe in or want to do. If I don't want to do something or can't see the point in it, I won't do it. I can't even pretend to do it, it just won't happen. And I expect others to be the same. How can people do and say things they don't believe in? Surely that's lying? And again this brings me back to childhood feeling like a liar I just can't do it. I get riddled with guilt, until I put it right...sad but true...and I expect the same of others. Especially as we get older. anywhoo it has been sorted now, and when I say sorted I mean staying as it originally was. because another thing that I strongly believe is if you say you’re going to do something you have to follow through, even if that means making a bed and then laying in it. Literally in this case. Hmm, yeah so don't give me penicillin, even if you are trying to save my life.

Spots

Yesterday i finished my anti-bio-tics and today i have come out in spots...all over my body. hmm... suffice to say I am going back to the Doctor's today. So much for kicking the illness. Although, I don't have so much of a headache today, so that's better. God I hate being ill...It's embarrassing, not to mention bloody annoying. Come on body...we can fight this... baai