Much better

Well it is now less than a week till payday! whoop! and yesterday I went to York and spent all of my hard earned tips on some new cosmetics, Lovely. Also, I have some more work coming up. Next week I do a tester for teaching drama workshops, and I have some penciled in dates for work doing the Corporate acting. So hopefully that will go ahead as that will mean some lovely monies before Xmas. Yesterday, I got the second part of the script for the play that I am in in October and I have just sent off my details for costume, so that looks as though it is all going ahead. On top of all this I also have a few days off from the pub, which is nice it gives me a breather, and a chance to remember that there is more out there than just that.

It's my birthday next month aswell, which is a bit weird as I will be 23, not sure how I feel about that.  I'm looking forward to the indulgence of it. I haven't really had much of a birthday these last few years. I always asked for money because I was away at Uni, but now that I am earning my own, I'm going to ask for little treats. Music that i like, a handbag, DVDs and just nice things really. Also, I have some friends coming to visit me, so I am looking forward to that.

Hopefully, nothing will be as hard from now on. I feel like I am coming out the other side. There are lots of things to look forward to now. And if I just keep working hopefully I will be able to move back to London in no time....

Also i have discovered the joys of cooking, in the last few days I have made; a cake, apple crumble and garlic Mayonnaise to go with Scampi and Chips. I don't claim to have made the Scampi and chips but give me time!! lol!!

Oo and for the corporate work I did before, I so did not realise that I had to do an Invoice...pah...hilarious no wonder they didn't pay me. Oh my gosh...this is why I need an agent/accountant.

And I have discovered this, it is from Nicola Roberts new album Cinderella's Eyes....I've always liked Miss Roberts since she came out with the make-up range for really pale people...such as my self. here is a song that I like so much it is called Sticks + stones.

Ciao for now

http://youtu.be/yHYETPdykkU

When the hell is payday?????

I'm going to have a moan...I feel low. I think mainly because I have NO MONEY, I have done what feels like loads of work and because I started right at the end of August I of course don't get paid till the end of sept. That's five weeks on top of all of last year, which literally bled me dry. On top of this my loan repayments for my PCDL began today, which will run for the next FIVE YEARS, plus my CCP membership has run out so I can't apply for any paid work now till the end of September. Also I got my credit card bill which of course I can't pay till I get paid, I owe my family and friends loads of money. It's so fucking annoying I’m doing everything I can to make money. I have got essentially four jobs and still no f***ing money. Apart from tips, which doesn't amount to that much anyway, plus I’m not putting those in the bank account, because I have run out of nearly all my cosmetics and I’m going with my Mum to York on Wednesday and plan to go and buy myself some new mascara. It sounds pathetic I know, but it's all I have to look forward to these days. I made a promise to myself that I would not do anything this month that doesn't surround making money, but the whole thing makes me feel like shit. Anyway, whatever...

My friend is pissing me off as well; she manages to word things in such an argumentative tone. She's one of those people who doesn't mean to cause offense but she really does. Stupid... and what's most annoying is that ordinarily I wouldn't let small things like these upset me. But because I am at home all the time, working in a job that I couldn't give a shit about. I feel like I’m missing out. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN LONDON, I feel like I’m missing out on one long party, everyone else is independent, has their own money and their own life. And I’m back living with my parents in the back of beyond with no one to talk to other than a rather hyperactive Yorkshire Terrier. Who right now I should be out on a walk with and not ranting on this but hey ho.

And I think I’m fat, I’m not fat, but I feel fat. I'm definitely not the 8st 4oz that I claim to be on spotlight. I tried to do some Yoga yesterday and only really succeeded in pulling a muscle in my spine, doing the snail pose...Jesus I can't even get that right.

Sorry about this post, I’m sure in a few days time when I’m feeling better, or when I have been paid, I will read this back and feel massively embarrassed...but anyway for now this is my declaration to the internet about how crap I’m feeling...

Toodles

Pootling along

I'm not sure if 'pootle' is a real word...but if it is i like and think it is underused. Well I've had a fairly uneventful few days. I am back working at the Wellington which is good because it means I'm earning money, but that is about it really. I am now doing rooms as well as waitressing, which is okay, but not exactly the dream. However, I have got an interview set up to teach drama workshops for Kids and possible radio work in Manchester, so it is not all bad.

I can't wait to have enough money to move back to London. Although it will be difficult once I'm down there finding secondary work, but hey ho. I'm sure I'll manage. I'm also a bit bored up here...I miss going out and seeing people. I don't have many friends up here anymore and as I am perpetually single, it's all very boring. plus I'm trying to loose weight at the mo, so I don't even have food as a comfort. I'm debating whether or not to join a dating website, app guardian soul mates is meant to be quite good. But I'm not sure if i want to admit to being that desperate yet...anyway I'll keep you posted.

Well i think that's about me for the moment...I'll carry on pootling...

And back up North

I had a lovely few days in London. Work was interesting and I felt like I really learnt a lot from doing that job.

I didn't realise how much I missed being around other Actors till I was around everybody again. People where I live in the north don't really have any concept of my life and the work I do. It's not their fault I don't expect people to really get it. I'm not sure if I even understand the complexities of life as an actor, but at least I feel less alone when I am around people who really do understand it. Plus there aren't that many acting opportunities up here. Really I'm living at home to try and get out of the enormous amount of debt that I am in. And I have to keep reminding myself of that, and that I have a way out, otherwise I think I will start to get a bit depressed.

Any who it's time for some lunch me thinks and then I may tidy my room. It's a total mess, but that's because all my worldly possessions are in there, as after living away from home for 4 years I have acquired a lot of stuff, and my room at home was never empty, so finding a place for everything is more that challenging, but I will persevere.

Waiting

I seem to spend a lot of my life waiting for things. Not that I'm complaining I quite enjoy the time and space to think, But I have come to realise that patience really is a virtue. One of the most difficult things about being an actor is not knowing what you're doing next, and waiting for the next job. But as I have found today sometimes there is nothing and then things happen all at once... I hope it continues to go well....I suppose I'll have to wait and see!!

Back to London

I am now in London for a few days to do some work. I have only been away from London for a few weeks but already it feels different. I want so much to move back, but I simply can't afford it. I really like London because I feel independent here, it feels as though this is where my life should be, hopefully some day it will be permanently but for the moment I am just a visitor.

I am staying with my old flatmates, which is very nice of them. I hope they don't get annoyed when I have to get up at 5 tomorrow morning in order to be there in time. Oh well, it's only a few days I suppose.

Right I'm going to listen to French and Saunders on listen again.

Speak soon.

Here we go

Hello,

This is something that I have wanted to do for a while now, but like everything that I try I have spent a long time procrastinating and not doing it. Infact, I'm procrastinating right now. I am supposed to be practising lines for a job I'm doing on tuesday, but obviously I am not doing that I'm starting a blog.

I hope I will be good at this and if not good then at least I don't forget about it and stop writing.

I am an Actress and I have just left drama school. I'm attempting to find work, an agent, money and a life. hmm...one step at a time me thinks.

Anywho, hello other bloggers and readers, here we go...