Wonderful people and Clarity

Wonderful people and clarity

I have felt a bit raw after the whole crying escapade. I’m not sure I cry like other people it kind of has to be seen to be believed. Once I go, I go…and it can last days…I can only really liken it to a grieving process. Which you would probably only understand if you had grieved for something. It’s not something that I can control, like a scab that even if you slightly nudge will begin bleeding again. I will get back to normality eventually, like all these things the recovery is always twice as long as the actual event itself. I think I have spoken about not being able to do things that I don’t believe in before, and it’s the same time and time again…even when I try to carry on ignoring the feeling that this isn’t right, eventually I crumble. It’s just not in me to deny the way I feel, and even if my head ignores it my heart takes over. And you know what? Maybe that’s not a bad thing, it’s my bodies way of telling me that something is just not right and that we cannot carry on…so that’s what’s going to happen…I will not carry on…I will find another job, I will backtrack and find my way again.

What has been brilliant about crying gate is that this weekend I have seen absolutely everybody who means the world to me. EVERYBODY. And you know what they have all fully agreed and been supportive about my predicament. And actually that means more to me than any stupid minimum wage job. The words were actually uttered “we’re all on team Sarah” and that’s nice because it’s good to know that even when I fall off the team Sarah Bandwagon there are people there to pull me back on.

So the new plan is to find a temporary job, to look in to starting my business and to tell my other job to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.

I’m outty.

xxx