As you may or may not know as well as running drama workshops for kids that couldn't give a crap about drama, I'm also a waitress at a pub SLASH restaurant. And I thought I would share some of my thoughts about the stupid people (some people call them customers) that come into the pub SLASH restaurant. Okay, Sunday is the worst fucking day for stupid people to arrive at the pub SLASH restaurant. Mainly because they bring their stupid families with them, this will include children who will run around, get in the way, complain about the food, get in the way, shout and scream, get in the way, cry and get in the way. They will also bring old people, who will want a small portion, with the meat well done *NEWS FLASH* meat tastes shit well done, especially lamb which will become tough and then you'll complain that it was too chewy...obviously cos you wanted it cooked well done, which makes it dry and shit!! stupid! Also they will bring themselves and they WILL NOT BOOK...fookers and then complain about the wait....obviously there is going to be a wait it's busy, cos it's Sunday and unfortunately you're not the only stupid table that has brought your entire shit family out to lunch without booking so fucking deal with it. Sundays are also shit because the stupid people that come in have absolutely not thought about what they are eating, so after bringing out all of the meal, I then say "can I get you any sauces for those?" at which point one particularly stupid person on the table will pipe up with "NO", and I wait about 2 seconds and then somebody else on the table will say, "yes can we have some horseradish?" and I say "yep" and off I go to get the horseradish, I would like to add at this point that I don't mind at all going to get sauces once for a table BUT, IF WHEN I GET BACK SOMEBODY ELSE ON THAT STUPID TABLE ASKS FOR SOMETHING, I WILL GET ANNOYED because now they are holding me up. Why when I said can I get you any sauces couldn't you have thought about what you wanted then I don't know, but Sundays are full of idiots who do that. Stop holding me up, it's already busy, you were one of the tables complaining about the wait and now you are one of the many factors of a Sunday that is holding me up. You TIT. Anyway....Then we move on to the rest of the week, which in fairness isn't as bad as a Sunday. However you still get stupid people coming in with a party of 8 wanting to eat a three course meal 15 minutes before we finish serving, usually after a really quiet night, when everybody is ready to go home. Now we're going to have to stay for at least an extra hour...bloody hell.
If you want to avoid being a stupid person in a pub SLASH restaurant here is some tips from me to you:
1: Always book
2: Don't complain....unless it's really bad like there is a dead rat in it or something....we're doing our best, relax enjoy the company and don't be tight just get another drink...they'll keep you going.
3: If your family is stupid don't take them out.
4: Don't make the waitress come to your table a million times, think about what you want sauces wise...you've had plenty of time you've already complained about the wait...fuckwit
5:If you are going to complain, do it to the manager not the waitress, if it's me I couldn't care less.
6: Tip well, we're on minimum wage, doing a job that lets face it not many people would want to do.
7: If when you first walk in it's really busy, why not try somewhere else.
And there's just a few tips from me to you as to how not to be a stupid person in a pub SLASH restaurant.
Bon appetite!
No comments:
Post a Comment